Riding in Alligators

For that title to make any sense at all you need to know that Ben calls elevators "alligators". And yesterday, much to Ben's delight, we rode in one. With a very rude woman. Little did she know that she was in for a treat . . . Or some torture, courtesy of Ben.

I could tell from the way she pulled into her parking spot that she was in a hurry. And she jumped out of her car and headed for the elevator without so much as a glance in our direction. I strapped Cameron into the Baby Bjorn, then loaded Ben into the stroller (it was necessary for both kids to be strapped down, as we were headed to the new ultra-hip Hubbell & Hudson Market and Bistro). Rude Woman reached the elevator before we did, and was compulsively pushing the down button. Ben was jabbering about the "alligator", and Cameron was happily babbling away as we all waited. Finally, the elevator arrived and Rude Woman jumped in and started pushing the button to close the door, yes, compulsively. Since the doors were still open, I smiled and said "looks like there's room for three more", and we joined her.

She refused to make eye contact. It got pretty quiet. Ben stared at her for a bit and then said, loudly, "Hey, Mister." Uh-huh, this was clearly a woman. Again, from my little darling, "HEY MISTER!!" . . . I was doing everything to keep from laughing out loud. She looked at him. "Say hi to my Mommy", he demanded. Rude Woman refused. I said to Ben, "Honey, she could say hi to us, but I don't think she's going to."

She never made eye contact again. Neither did I, for fear of laughing. But as she pushed in front of me to make her way off the elevator, Ben tried one more time . . . "Bye! BYE! BYE-BYE-BYE!!!" She finally turned around and said with a smirk, "Good bye." I think she meant it!

To the Scrooge in all of our lives, "May you find yourself smiling as you ride in alligators with two-year olds!" Merry Christmas!