May 29, 2008


So this morning I attempted a shower. Not a long, luxurious shower. No shaving, no deep conditioner, just a quickie. I had finally gotten Cameron to sleep, she had been up since six a.m., and it was close to ten. Benjamin had about a hundred cars to play with in the bathroom, and so begins my shower:

Ben opens the closet in the bathroom. Bad sign.

Ben: Open this?

Me: No, Ben those are Mommy's breast pads. Put those back, please (yes, I said please).

Ben: Open this? Open this?

Me: Ben, no, please. Put those back. Ben. Ben. BEN!!

Ben: (Opens breast pads, brings them to the shower door). Open this (an anouncement, not a question, and Ben is now headed for the bathtub)!

Me: Ben, what are you doing?

Ben: Ooooooh, water (Ben turns on the hot water at the bath tub).

Me: Ben, that water is hot, leave it alone. Ben, turn it off. NOW.

Ben: Water, hot?

Me: BEN TURN THAT WATER OFF RIGHT NOW (I start banging on the door of the shower like a mad woman)!

Ben: (Smiling). Ooooooh (as he drops breast pads into the bathtub). WATER!!!

Me: Seriously, Ben, leave the tub alone. NOW!

Ben: (Heads for the toilet, breast pads in hand). Water!!

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (as I jump out of the shower).

Ben: (Seeing that I mean business) Hi Mama.

Me: Hi Ben, stay out of the toilet. I mean it. You put about twenty maxi pads down there this weekend. Can you say "No no"?

Ben: No no, Mama. Baby sad?

Me: I give up (Ben is armed and dangerous, and the baby is now screaming on the intercom).

Could this be why I'm so tired at the end of the day? I'm sure it is, but it's also why I laugh about a million times a day. And it is worth it. So worth it. Oh, and in case you were wondering, breast pads swell up and look like breast implants after soaking in the bath tub several days.


  1. Oh girl! I am laughing, but also know the feeling. It's good to laugh and blog about it. I only take showers when Zac is asleep. Carlee gives me no trouble. I don't know what I will do when Zac is walking and not napping as much. Probably take all showers at night after putting them down to bed. To think that we have to schedule a shower, crazy!

  2. Thanks for the laugh, dear friend. Hope to catch up with you soon!

  3. I am so sorry! You are such a great mom. I can picture all of this happening...I think it may have happened in my house before :)

  4. Why are little kids so fascinated with feminine products? Maybe they look like little pillows to them. Mine know the drawer and like to unwrap them individually. They haven't figured out how to take off the backing and turn them into stickers yet. I know it's only a matter of time.


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